1.25.23 an entire nebulous world (wide web)Â
I can't imagine being a kid in today's world. When I was growing up (yes, I just employed the most cliche phrase) there were no cell phones, tablets, laptops, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, SnapChat, or an entire nebulous world (wide web) where, with a single click, limitless torrents of unfiltered information and images could be gazed upon instantaneously.
What's more, the majority of children (not teenagers or young adults - children) are handed the keys to this adult kingdom, often times with little to no adult supervision. And once they are exposed to the words, concepts, and images, they cannot be unexposed. Those things change them - chemically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Unfortunately, most children are awakened to things much, much too early.
All of these things have become surrogate parents for adults who find it easier to let those mediums parent their children so that they can invest in their own lives through the currency of time. And we all know that time means everything!
In a world where the barometer of what's considered "normal" is tipped so heavily on the side of unhealthy and inappropriate, it is almost unbearable for children to live on the side of healthy and appropriate without feeling like the odd man out. The pressure they feel from the other children around them weighs heavy on their little hearts and minds. My little guy is experiencing this right now.
This means lots of conversations. Not quick, surface-based conversations where some law is laid down by the adult that the child must not cross. These aren't authoritarian conversations where the child is made to feel like a subject. Kids aren't stupid. They understand more than we give them credit for. These conversations take a lot of time. These conversations are between two souls who are both experiencing things, albeit on different levels and for different reasons. It takes compassion, empathy, and listening when they express how hard it is.
This also means availability. I have to be available to my boys - emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. And at any time. Life isn't convenient. Emotions don't keep schedules. Opportunities for intimacy and connection don't get second chances most times.
So, when it's 9:30 last night and I am utterly exhausted in every way, but Jameson comes in and says "Daddy, can I be with you?", the instant answer is "Absolutely!" And even though he is 10, tall, and incredibly strong, he climbs up on me and snuggles like he did when he was 5. I'll take it. I'll take it for as long as I can get it. It is my privilege to be available to him for as long as I am alive.
I hope I never forget, or find it inconvenient, to protect my boys. I hope I never lose interest in being available to them. If I do, that's the moment when I may lose them to the culture that is persistently beating on the door of their hearts and minds!
Jameson Age: 10